![]() “She always did love to dance.” Simon slams down a device that emits some special effects, knocking out all the doctors. Heartless says all their subjects are conditioned for combat, but River in particular is a “ creature of extraordinary grace.” “ Yes,” says Simon. Simon ignores him and asks about how she is, physically. Heartless wonders what the reason for this inspection is, seeing as how he’d previously been told that the Alliance supported this project. Heartless says because she’s more than just a psychic. Simon cuts him off and asks why he would want an insane psychic? Dr. Heartless explains that River is practically insane. Lor: Seeing Simon is always worthy of a squee. Sara: I know that, for us, it hasn’t been that long since we last saw him, but I was still really SQUEE-y about seeing him for the first time here. Heartless says that River is their star pupil and the camera pans back to reveal Simon! deadpanning that he’s heard that. ![]() He explains that their best work is done when the subject is asleep, allowing them to monitor their subconscious and implant suggestions. The doctor moves to the front of the room, speaking to an audience we can’t see. She is strapped to a chair, a weird needle jammed into the front of her head, as one of the doctors around her says she’s dreaming. ![]() The River we know (Summer Glau) cries out. The teacher leans forward and stabs something in Little!River’s forehead and the scene changes. Lor: The teacher counters that they aren’t trying to tell anyone what to think. Sweeney: It adds an appropriately unsettling effect to the scene to have grown!River’s voice coming out of this child’s face. We’re in their homes, and in their heads, and we haven’t the right. “ We tell them what to do, what to think. Little!River says that people don’t like to be told what to do. This is little!River! She has full grown River’s voice and it’s weird. A girl at the back of the class, eyes never leaving her Outer Space iPad replies, “ we meddle.” “ River?” the teacher asks. The teacher asks why the outer planets would resist their super cool advancements. Gee, thanks for the exposition, you creepy little kid. A third says that only Reavers are cannibals, creatures he insists are real and rape for hours and hours. Another responds that she heard they are cannibals. ![]() A child asks why the outer planets would even fight them. We pan out to see that this sterilized version of history is being delivered in front of a classroom. But the Alliance won and now everyone is happy! The savage, outer planets refused Alliance control, resulting in a devastating war. People found a new solar system, terraformed the planets and moons to form new Earths. It’s a woman ( S: Tamara Taylor from Bones!) with a slightly different version of events: Earth-That-Was could no longer sustain the ever growing population. A voice over gives us the set-up, but it is not Mal, as we were accustomed to. The Universal Pictures logo becomes Earth. Lorraine: Joss Whedon got his feature length film, and we’re going to recap it, but fair warning that this post will be long. Wash the mask after every use.Previously: Firefly only made it 14 episodes.
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